Slowing down
It turns out slowing down is far more difficult than I imagined.
We’re on day three of our break from everything and everybody, and I’m struggling. Struggling to switch off, to stop thinking, and to stop doing.
Not doing feels like not doing anything – which feels wrong.
There’s always something that needs doing – washing dishes, clothes, picking up after others, and a hundred other things. Being shut in this cottage – a “nothing” day – has made me realise just how crazy my world has become.
Some people love doing nothing. Some people love being busy. I find myself wondering where I live on that spectrum. For the last year I’ve essentially done two jobs – the day job, and pretending to be a content creator – and pushed everything else sideways.
I used to love writing. I still do. I pushed it sideways though because it was only for me. The work and content creation is for everybody – or rather the remuneration from it benefits everybody. There’s an old saying – that while money isn’t everything, it sure makes life easier – and it’s largely true. Money doesn’t equal happiness though, and it’s easy to lose sight of when enough is enough.
Perhaps that’s what these few days away are really about – to take a step back, to slow down, to stop chasing my own tail – to realise that investing in myself is a good idea from time to time.
I wonder how I might convince myself that investing in “me” is not somehow selfish?